There comes a time in every life when one must go inside to find whatever it is that their destiny holds. You may not always find the ideal answer but you will find truth and whether you are able to deal with this truth or not will determine your walk from this point forward.
Denial is the enemy here. Resist the urge to deny the mirrors reflection. Cognitive dissonance will try and convince you that you are more or less than this moment of truth. Embrace it and move forward from this point, ordering your steps the truth that has revealed itself.
I wrote “the lonely only one knows” at a low point and not to say that it delivered me but it was very therapeutic none the less. It reminded me that all those things that had been hidden from me, even my very soul is knowable if i would only do the soul-work. .
except for that incessant hum i imagine death to be this. Not that empty silence of nothingness but a constant dreamily reminder of what could have been had you made different decisions. Wading through cesspools of pretended smiles, back staving beast and the occasional pleasantry of truth that shows itself only to call me a liar. i the chameleon, who has run out of colors to mask my contempt can no longer pretend that horrible shit isn’t happening, just because it isn’t happening to me. Unless we are able to truly see another we can never really know their hunger for just wanting to be. We are the creatures who crawled upon our bellies salvaging for the scraps that those who above us born with wings that only know half the story leaving us to fed upon their glory…when we go away we don’t die we are cocooned to accept the beauty of our new existence, Without sound we know where we belong but without voice we don’t have a song