You have to let the other know how you want the intimate encounter to unfold. In the case of men their ego guides them often to think that they are so well versed in the art of pleasing that guidance is unnecessary. This is to say that they know how the other likes it yet it is the others unwillingness to object to this presumption that foster false notions of satisfaction. Truth be told the same could and should be said for women. There are very few among us, men and women alike, who have not lost their propensity for empathy. We lack the ability to see life through others eyes and therefore we tunnel vision our way through false notions of love, aggression, affection and connection.
Modern sexuality has become a psycho-sexual equating of pain and anger with pleasure and happiness. Voyeuristic humanoids seeking ecstasy no longer content with orgasms we have been reprogrammed to annihilate any opposition that would dare share their essence. In other words my friends we have literally sexed each others brains out.
I poetically suppose that this should be where I try and insert a Hollywood stye happy ending, where the boy gets the girl and together they ride off into the the sunset. Never really cared much for the fantasies created for me you see my mind is ripe with creativity and so verily I say unto thee: Don’t be mad or discouraged because our ego is there for a reason; a coping mechanism that our mind created to combat feelings of inadequacy, jealousy and helplessness.
So let yourself go emotionally and intimately. Find a trusting place within and be open to the possibility of anything happening and if you find comfort in it then close your eyes and open your heart to it. Remember there are seasons and each has its reason but most of all endeavor to make real connections.